The Missus in Me

Step 1.

This may be oversharing already, but I just had “that time of the month” yesterday. Which only means one thing: Negative.

We are taking the first step as soon as this period stops. We’ll go to the OB next week for our first checkup. We wanted to do this before but I just feel that it’s less awkward to visit an OB now coz we’re already married. I don’t know, I just have those “i-hate-when-you-preach” type of OB’s out there. At least now that we’re married, it gives us the “right” to start a family already.

Step 1. Coming up.

Second Week.

I can’t believe two weeks has passed already since Bob and I exchanged our vows.

It’s been two weeks of getting to know him all over again. It’s funny coz before we got married, I kept asking him what would change if we did get married, I thought that it would just be the same since we’ve been living together for almost two years already, but I was wrong.

It’s like we were back to zero, that all of a sudden, the boyfriend seemed really young and a little immature to me. The man, however, that stands before me today, the very person I wake up next to each morning, is a different person. He’s the husband - more mature, understanding and well, more baduy. Haha! (I really need to put that in.)

Two weeks, I believe I’ve changed too. I really don’t know what kind of force pushes me to do the household chores each morning, I tell you it beats working out in a gym, I’m all sweats afterwards. I don’t know coz I used to be really lazy and household chores were a big no-no for me. But it’s been two weeks and I enjoy every little thing that I do for Bob, whether it’s cooking for him or ironing his clothes, I am having fun - in a weird kind of way. Haha!

Two weeks - it’s all surreal. I can close my eyes and still replay everything in my head. Perhaps the onsite video has done something to my brain — we’ve watched it for hundred times already, never failed to make us smile each time.

Two weeks and as I’ve said in my earlier blog, the ring feels safe in my finger now. I admitted to Bob that I felt uneasy during the first few days of the ring on my finger, I just wasn’t used to wearing jewelries. But today, I noticed that it felt really light on my finger already, it’s like my body’s way of telling me that I’m beyond the primary adjusting phase.

Two weeks - just a needle-hole in the lifetime we’ll spend together as husband and wife. It’s just too amazingly nice that our forever is in the works already.

I love you Dudad.

Bad vibes.

I just don’t get it. How can someone be so inconsiderate?

It’s been the second time that this person has tried to pull me down by his insensitive and tactless remarks. It’s just annoying that he says sorry and then repeats the same mistake afterward. I mean, what’s the point?

I don’t get him. If he’s just plain tactless or it’s really that effortless for him to annoy people. He makes me want to unleash the Hulk within.

Thank God that Bob is always there to be my sounding board - and always the first one to the rescue. Whenever I feel so down with myself, he does something to prove me wrong, to make me feel better again.

God, he’s such an angel.

Random.

• Watching “Remember Me” before I do what’s left of the household chores.
• I realized, just this morning, that the ring on my finger no longer feels awkward to me. I’ve said it to Bob before kasi I’m not used to wearing jewelries especially on my hands. The first few days of wearing the ring, I kept playing with it, removing it then placing it back on. Now, it feels very light to me already.
• Hmm. What else.
• Don’t you just love weekends? I do. We do.
• Thiking of something special to do for today…

Mystery Viand.

This just in - I cooked something for lunch. It’s edible, at least. But there are two problems.

First— I don’t know what it’s called. It’s like I looked at the ref and pulled out the veggies and pork that I could find in there and then started cooking it, and just thought of what to add impromptu. At one point, I couldn’t remember what I put in or what it tastes like.

Second - my tummy’s feels like there’s a war going on in there. I don’t know if this has something to do with my mystery viand, it’s just that it effin hurts. Haha. God, if Bob’s tummy acts up too, it only means two words: Food Poisoning.

I asked Bob how it tastes, and he said it’s sumptuous, well for the sake of my ego - I believe him. But to be ultimately realistic, I wouldn’t take his comment. He always does this to save his life. Haha!

Day 12: In progress. :)

I feel that I love him more now.

This morning, he placed the ring back in my finger and said a promise. I did the same thing too.

The day went out smoothly, no more little fights. I enjoyed doing household chores - taking it as a “me” time during the day. I enjoyed it so much that I didn’t notice it’s already almost 10pm. I just finished cleaning the kitchen. Haha!

Today, I got the “where’s the baby?” question/joke again. I didn’t find it funny anymore. God knows how much Bob and I want to have a baby, but it’s not just given to us yet. We believe in God’s perfect timing and we’re willing to wait. It’s just that when other people rub it in our face, we can’t help but feel a pang of pain inside.

Parenthood is not something we can do and just regret later on for not being prepared enough.

Next time pag may nagtanong, we’ll say, “It’s in progress. Wanna watch?” Hahaha!

Day 11: I want to be a full-time wife.

Today, Bob and I fought for the first time.

Or maybe it’s not really a fight, but more of a misunderstanding.

I told Bob that I asked my Lola not to go here anymore, that I can survive the household chores, and basically, a helper is no longer needed.

He told me that it’s not possible for us not to hire a helper, that we need one because of the lifestyle that we have, etc etc. He also told me that he doesn’t want me to get tired because of the household chores, I took that as a sweet gesture from him but his next words hit me below the belt…

“Isa pa, ayokong pag may ginagawa ako eh bigla mo ko tatawagin pag meron kang di kayang gawin mag-isa.”

I know, I’m generally a lazy person. I really don’t do household chores. I always say that it’s because I grew up with my Papa doing basically everything for us. Our Papa does the household chores and he spoils us everytime. The one time that I ironed my own clothes, Papa immediately scrutinized my ironing and had it re-ironed.

But I just love what I’m doing now. I love waking up early in the morning and fixing things. I don’t know where that came from, it’s just that I enjoy those hours, it’s like an alone time for me, I love doing it and I love it all the more coz I’m doing it for him.

I feel like a full-time wife.

I want to take care of him and I know this is just a preparation to our building a family together. I can’t be lazy forever. I can’t be “bawal mapagod” all the time.

I need this.